Solar System

It’s funny how you develop roles when you’re married. In the solar system of marriage you have your universe. In my marriage my wife is the earth. She keeps our universe livable. Keeps us near the sun so we don’t freeze. Keeps us rotating so we get near the Safeway occasionally so we don’t starve. I’m one of those useless planets like Uranus. I’m like “I could trim that bush. I could walk the dog.” Wife responds  “that would be nice, thanks hon.” 

If Uranus was left to rule the solar system we’d be dead in a week. No food, house freezing, kids running around naked. Our universe would be a mess.

You need order to sustain life. Sometimes I wake up from a sleep and for a brief second in time things make sense. I could be the Earth. The seas are calm, the weathers beautiful. I’m rested heading towards the kitchen to start coffee and something shiny distracts me I stub my toe and I’m Uranus all over again. 

Routines and Why We Have Them

As I mentioned in “Solar System” my wife runs things. But one duty I do have every morning is to walk to the kitchen, jiggle the coffee pot and fill the water glasses. The reason I jiggle the coffee pot was illustrated this morning when I was distracted, our routine was breeched and all hell broke loose. 

My wife doesn’t know I jiggle the coffee pot but it all started a few years ago while sleep deprived and in the middle of a home renovation, she rose first, pushed the button on the coffee maker without centering the pot and went to the bathroom. In those days I was still working and would cling to the blankets and stay in bed as long as possible, hoping to delay the carnage that I surely knew would ensue. The carnage on the day in question was dark roast rolling across the new granite counter tops, down the front of the custom made cabinets and pooling on my newly-installed beige tile floors. Fortunately I was a tile installer in a previous life and I had sealed the grout. Unfortunately, sealed or not, antique white and dark roast do not pair well and the grout bothered me for the rest of the time we lived there. 

So now retired I rise early since the only reason I didn’t want to get up was to delay the daily grind. I actually enjoy the morning time now.  So I rise early, jiggle the coffee pot, pour the water and head to my office to write and read the news. But as I said today, I was distracted. The wife started the coffee, didn’t jiggle and even though I knew the sound wasn’t right ,I didn’t go to investigate until the spice drawer was full of coffee. Do cumin and dark roast mix? I don’t know. 

This is why we have routines. To keep the spice drawer from filling with coffee and to ensure all is right with the world. I must be steadfast in my appointed rounds. 

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