The Daily Trump

I started writing about a year ago. I find myself constantly writing about the president throughout the past two years. I didn’t start out to do this; in fact I’d rather not be doing it at all. I have short stories I’d really like to work on. But I just can’t help it. It’s almost become an obsession. So I decided to just write down the most intriguing daily headline through the Trump presidency starting Jan 14, 2019. The week that was or “The Daily Trump”. Remember, the following was one week in this presidency and is for entertainment value only –  don’t try this at home!

Day 1  1/14/2019

The president says he’s never worked for Russia after the New York Times and Washington Post raised new questions about his relationship with Moscow amid the unresolved special counsel probe…

Trump sat alone in his office. The government was shutdown. It was like a ghost town. How had things gone so terribly wrong? He’d needed money. The Russians had offered to help. He made a deal. That’s what he did. He didn’t care about politics. He cared about money and power. Now he had both. If people would only leave him alone and let him lead….

Day 2  1/15/2019

President Trump denies he had been trying to conceal details about his meetings with Russian President Vladimir Putin and said he didn’t know anything about what happened to notes taken by an interpreter when they met last summer in Finland…

The idea that a sitting president who claims to know more about anything than anyone saying that he doesn’t know what happened to key pieces of evidence is only further proof of how ill-suited this man is for the presidency. He has any number of people who will willingly get up in front of the press and lie for him but he continues to freestyle and show what a truly incompetent leader he is. “Don’t know what happened to…” is either, “I’m covering something up” or “I’m incredibly bad at my job.” It’s also part and parcel of the theory that this man is not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re a crook and you make a career of intimidating and lying how could you possibly think your ethics would stand up to the scrutiny of the presidency? Everything you say and everything you have ever done will be dragged through the press and, even worse, the court of public opinion. Which only furthers the notion that Trump never thought he could or would win the presidency. It was just a huge ego trip that went terribly wrong for Comrade Trump. Stay tuned.

Day 3  1/16/2019

Feds list what they call Manafort lies but few details in blacked-out filing…

The reason this is relevant is because the last postings by Manafort’s lawyers were done in such a way that the redactions didn’t print properly so you got the whole sordid story. Which in effect is that Manafort is a ‘lying piece’ which of course qualifies him to be Trump’s campaign manager. It’s also noteworthy that Trump claimed to barely know Manafort when he made him his campaign manger which is neither stable nor genius nor, as it turns out, true. I read an article in Vanity Fair June 2017 that chronicles Trump’s association with both Manafort and Roger Stone who were then doing jobs for the professional dirty deeder himself, Roy Cohn. If you don’t know who Roy Cohn is just look up the most truly disgraceful scandal in American history – the McCarthy hearings on un-American activities, where Mr. Cohn is featured prominently. At the time referenced in the article, starting in 1973, Mr. Cohn was friend and mentor to a young Donald Trump. You just can’t make this stuff up. The truth is always stranger than fiction and the coverup is always worse than the crime. History repeats for those who don’t learn or, in this case, don’t read and sure as hell can’t spell.

Day 4  1/17/2019

Trump’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani: “I never said there was no collusion with Russia during the 2016 election campaign”…

So the Mueller investigation is a “witch hunt”? Behold the witch. “I work for the president and I said my boss never colluded” Implying that I don’t know about the rest of these guys. So consider this Trump fans (and I know the facts you’re using are “alternative” and “truth is not truth”) -this “witch hunt” has produced  numerous indictments, convictions and jail sentences. Canaries singing their sweet song while the president is hiding in the oval office shoving coal  up his ass and hoarding the diamonds the resulting pressure is producing. Saying that Trump didn’t collude but I can’t account for these others is like saying, “Well sure the ship sank but it wasn’t the captain’s fault.” Never said there was no collusion? Except, of course, for the hundreds of times when Trump said exactly that again and again, it’s on tape. I saw a montage of it 6 months ago and he’s said it a million times since. It’s tattooed on his tiny hands, lest he forget – “There was no collusion” right next to “Witch Hunt.” Oh, I get it. So Rudy never said there was no collusion. Sorry, Rudy’s got a quick first step, but it’s not exactly an ankle breaker. I mean he is like a 100 or something. He’s desperate to separate Trump from the leeches and stench that cling to him like a scene from “The African Queen.”

And has anyone noticed the bromance between Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani seems to be cooling off? You don’t see as much of Rudy these days. It seemed to really come to a boil recently after Rudy oozed under the door of the oval office and Trump could be heard screaming, “Don’t sell crazy around here, Rudy, we’re full up!”

And now the coup de grace in Giuliani-land – “I never said there was no collusion!”

This proves that Mueller is getting close and Giuliani and Trump know it. The sirens on the ship are wailing and the SS Trump is going down.

Day 5  1/18/2019

President Trump appears to be retaliating against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for suggesting he postpone his State of the Union Address amid the ongoing partisan government shutdown by postponing her planned trip to Afghanistan at the last moment…

He called her attempt to gain critical information in the war-torn area an “excursion” and said it would be more appropriate if she stayed and negotiated since the government was shutdown. He also called the trip a PR stunt.

Good thing the president really has his fingers on the pulse of the situation. “Let’s shutdown the entire government that will show them.” I’m not saying there isn’t plenty of blame to go around but this feels like elementary school – except the stakes are 800,000 people’s jobs over a manufactured crisis that could just as easily be “the endangered bee population.”

“We need bees bigly. Everyone likes honey, I like honey, do you like honey?” And as the showdown continues, the president is lining up his next victims, For his State of the Union address he’ll bring forth the so-called “angel families,” people who have suffered loss at the hands of illegal immigrants, who the president is just exploiting and couldn’t care less about. “Just sit here and look really sad!” Is he also going to invite the victims of “The NRA” and “Big Pharma and the producers of Oxycontin” who are directly responsible for exponentially more deaths than illegal immigration? Of course not, they paid for his mansion in Boca and half of the senators’ luxury homes across the country.

It’s really not surprising, however, that this man, who’s relationship to the truth is casual at best, is having a hard time following the last man to occupy the office. Obama’s autobiography “The Audacity of Hope” tops the charts and is a message of courage and hope while the soon-to-be-released Trump epic “I Never Said That” although certain to be a best seller doesn’t exactly inspire. “It will be a huge success,” crowed the president, “and it’s gonna sell bigly. Melanie read it and says it’s great! I’m already working on the sequel  ‘I Never Did That’ as soon as I get my huge advance.”

“No I’m not the President of the United States but I did stay at a Holiday inn Express last night.”

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