Is there a Literacy Council available to the president? Enquiring minds need to know. Is it irony or pure whimsy that delights me so in the thought that a man whose “vast” fortune is made in the hotel industry, which relies on “boarders,” and whose political currency is based on “borders,” doesn’t know the difference between the two words?

“Anytime you hear a Democrat saying that you can have good Boarder Security without a wall, write them off as just another politician following the party line.” (actual Trump tweet)

Well, the answer to that first question is yes, the president’s buddy, Betsy DeVos, is Secretary of Education. Surely she could help the president with his spelling. Except, a quick perusal of Mrs. DeVos’ Wikipedia page points out that despite being confirmed by the landslide margin of 1 vote (apparently they had to wake up Mike Pence and show him where to make his mark) she did not originally support the president. In fact, during the Republican primaries for the 2016 election, she donated money to Jeb Bush and Carly Fiorina, before finally settling on Marco Rubio as her candidate of choice in March 2016. She then went on to describe Trump as an “interloper” and said he doesn’t represent the Republican party. So after 3 failed attempts to avoid supporting Trump and then calling him an interloper (no, Mr. President, that’s an antelope) he finally found a way to lasso her fortune by giving her a cabinet position, which I’m sure she is eminently qualified for with her BA from Calvin College. What, Ben Carson was already busy? Oh yeah, he’s Housing and Urban Development. Right.

So I have to wonder, could she be intentionally sabotaging the president? As much as the thought of that delights me to no end, the answer is a big, fat, impossible-to-misspell ‘know’! This president doesn’t need any help in that regard, thank you very much. His every utterance is a molotov cocktail of sabotage. His vocabulary – all 50 words – is a framed portrait of a man who has spent his spare time looking at pictures mainly on money and cheating at golf.

No, I’m sure as Mrs. DeVos shakes her wealthy head at yet another presidential blunder, she’s far too busy trying to arm teachers or spend her own immeasurable fortune which, unlike the president’s, actually does exist.

Get ready, Donny ,the new year and new Congress are coming and with that, my little orange friend, comes the subpoena that will require you to show your tax returns. Oh, we know you’re under audit. I’m sure the information in those juicy documents will surely help further the “17” investigations you are now currently under and no doubt add to your soon-to-be record number of indictments and jail sentences. Most notably your own. Never has anyone so guilty cried wolf so long and so hard. I’m surprised you’re not ‘horse’…or is it hoarse? Who knew English was so complicated? Orange jumpsuit, “54 fat, please!”

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