Don Quixotic: Tilting at Windmills
Late night with the Donald
Trump, sitting at his desk trying to look busy…“What’s this?”
“Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.” Thomas Jefferson
Someone had left this note on Trump’s desk and he was furious.
“Damn Leakers…Fake News!” He folded it and put it in his coat pocket so he’d remember to address it in his early morning tweets. “But in the meantime who’s leaving this crap on my desk?” Cleverly he’d had all the surveillance for the oval sent directly to his cell phone. Unfortunately he’d fallen asleep while tweeting and rolled over on the phone. It had turned off and none of his children were around to turn it back on for him. Also it was very sticky. He’d fallen asleep eating a 5th Avenue, one of his favorite candy bars, along with the $100,000 Bar and Payday. “None of those commie Twix for me. Who puts cookie in a candy bar? Yuck!”
3:00 am – President’s bedroom, new phone in hand and tweeting:
“All this controversy about the Apostles’ Creed is FAKE NEWS…..” Talking to himself, “If only they’d let me open ‘Trump Baptist’ in Boca I’d show them Christian. I actually lean a little more to the Catholic. Donny likes a little bling but don’t tell those Christians that, Pence would go apeshit.” Stops to listen to ‘Charlie Brown’ in the background and sings along with “Why’s Everybody Always Picking On Me?”
This was his favorite time of night. Alone with his phone and no aids to bother him, he could get down to the serious business of getting even! He took out the paper and read it again. “Thomas Jefferson, Jefferson Smefferson, shut up, you’re dead! I’ll show you freedom of speech!”
New tweet,“Mueller witch hunt out of control, Michael Flynn very low IQ flipper nothing worse than a flipper!” Sings, “They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning, no one you see is smarter than he, and we know Flipper lives in a world full of wonder, flying there under, under the sea…..Love that show, Bud, Sandy, Ranger Rick.” Talks into phone, “Note to self, get all episodes of Flipper for late night viewing.” Smiles contentedly. “Damn that Flynn, I asked them to go easy on him and this is how he repays me?” Looks at mass of papers strewn across the bed.
“Where’d this tabloid come from? ‘Don Quixotic-Foolishly Impractical.’ God, who writes this trash, FAKE NEWS….. and that picture where’d they get that? My hair never looked like that, FAKE NEWS…..”
While at the Kremlin:
Putin smiled and laughed with his comrades. “Who needs collusion? This man is moron, like donkey with carrot. We infiltrated their feed with emails from GRU. If he finds out we’re spying it leads back to Hillary. Assange, Manafort, Stone all take money from us. With upgrade to 5G we will have spies in House, Senate and Supreme Court, too. While they are busy watching elections we are busy watching them in real time. Too easy.”